When you understand this mindset,nothing is happening to me .everytimg is abopening for my growth ,redirections and protection . you stop asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” and start looking at things rationally and objectively. You begin to understand that Allah Ta’ala may be using these experiences for your growth.

Of course, when you work on your healing, Allah Ta’ala can help you reach your potential by learning the lessons these experiences offer. If you don't learn from them, you may find yourself repeating the same patterns through different people and situations.

A wise person learns not only from their own life but also from other people's experiences, books, and the guidance Allah Ta’ala has given us. Even love has a guidebook. There are books on the psychology of relationships that teach us how to understand people, build healthy relationships, and make better decisions.

I can't play these games, and I always say one thing: just because you don't want to work on yourself, can't regulate yourself, or keep running away from healing doesn't mean you don't need it. Sometimes, you keep avoiding the very work that could help you grow. And perhaps that's why you're here: because, deep down, you know you need to learn.

Think about it. Every instruction, recipe, menu, toy, and object comes with a manual. Yet we expect to navigate life, love, emotions, and relationships without learning how they work.

Life has lessons. Love has a guidebook, too.And Ridha Tariq, I literally saw how much she had learned about feminine energy and cat energy. She was calm and regulated. The fact is, Saif guilt-tripped and manipulated his group members, telling them not to go to certain people because they talked about them. But Ridha always maintained her self-identity. She would spend five or ten minutes, or have small talk with everyone, regardless of fights or disagreements.

She had a filter. She didn't become disrespectful during arguments. She put her point across, so people listened to her. Others might have been extremely rude to other contestants, but they didn't treat her the same way. When you're unfiltered and disrespectful, you make it easier for others to treat you the same way. Eventually, people stop listening to you, even when you have a valid point.

When you build bonds, network, and develop social skills, you create mutual courtesy, cordiality, and respect. Ridha built bonds with all the contestants but mostly spent time with Saif. And remember, being comfortable in silence with someone is also communication. Learn to sit together without feeling the need to fill every silence.

Second, learn when to walk away from a group gathering or a conversation after you've spent quality time together. Sometimes, leaving while the other person is still enjoying your company creates room for them to look forward to seeing you again. These are all social skills.

Third, just observe Ridha Tariq. There are plenty of videos to watch, but you need to understand the psychology behind her behaviour. She had actually learned and embraced these skills, and it showed in her feminine energy and conduct, even during those 24-hour live sessions.

Look at Kaval Faruq. Kaval overgave so much that she even burned her hands making parathas for them, yet they wouldn't take a stand for her. During games, they would discuss how they had to make Ridha win, while telling Kaval that simply praising her would make her happy. People can sense when someone is emotionally empty and constantly seeking validation. One sign can be overgiving: sidelining yourself and prioritizing everyone else.

That's not how healthy relationships are built. You have to prioritize yourself, maintain boundaries, and rationally and objectively decide how much to invest. In the beginning, figure out what you want and be clear that you're looking for a serious relationship. If someone doesn't want the same thing, let them walk away. If someone becomes performative to win you over, observe their consistency. Don't reveal everything about your ideal partner too early, because some people may simply mirror your preferences to impress you.

Sometimes, when you become overly attached to someone, a job, or a situation, give sadaqah and make dua to Allah Ta'ala: if this is harmful for me, let it be removed from my life with aafiyat. And if it is good for me, make it a source of sukoon, thandak for my eyes, and goodness in my life. Ask Allah to help you develop the skills to maintain a healthy bond, recognize its value, and nurture it in the right way.

Kaval overgave and kept doing things to help others win tasks. Yet when Ridha left for a month or two, Saif cried so much and missed her. This shows that a bond can make someone's absence felt, even when that person wasn't constantly overgiving. But remember, absence alone doesn't create love; a genuine connection does.

Ridha and Saif had respectful banter, friendship, and comfortable silence. These things build connection. Saif would flirt with her and look at her lips, but Ridha never reciprocated that particular behaviour. She maintained her dignity and boundaries. Saif was playing both Kaval and Ridha, but Kaval became so emotionally invested that she started losing herself. She was even thinking about marrying him, despite the fact that he was already married. She cooked for him, sacrificed for him, and tried to win games for him because she had invested too much emotionally.

Never give someone access to things they haven't earned through consistency. When you give too much before someone has demonstrated genuine effort, you risk setting a relationship dynamic in which they receive everything without having to reciprocate. But when a man shows consistency and makes an effort, appreciate him wholeheartedly. Be joyful, happy, and appreciative, even when the gesture is small. Your appreciation encourages mutual effort and creates a positive bond.

Be joyful, feminine, and warm on the outside, but maintain firm boundaries internally. Know your priorities and make decisions accordingly. When both people understand boundaries, communicate clearly, and resolve conflicts maturely, unnecessary jealousy and obsession become less likely. You understand each other better and learn how to reassure one another. Both people should feel secure enough to communicate when something bothers them and work through it together.

Ridha was calm, emotionally regulated, joyful, feminine, and soft, but she prioritized her individual game. She didn't come there to support Saif or become part of a ship. She came to play her own game and put herself first. Even when Saif guilt-tripped her by saying nobody supported him, she made it clear that everyone was playing individually and that they had to look after their own interests, too. She maintained her boundary without becoming rude.

Kaval, on the other hand, was vulnerable to guilt-tripping because of her empathy and overgiving mindset. Sorry to say, I used to be like that, too. Trying too hard to be the nice person, constantly explaining how you had considered someone else's feelings, and overjustifying your actions can make your intentions look less genuine. People can often sense when you're trying too hard to prove how much you've done for them. You end up prioritizing them over yourself and diminishing your own sense of worth.

A healthy self-concept means you don't make another person the centre of your universe. Have your own life, gym schedule, skincare routine, hobbies, poetry classes, yoga, and personal goals. Maintain your identity and independence. This naturally gives a relationship room to breathe, while allowing both people to look forward to spending time together.

But independence doesn't mean abandoning your partner or making them beg for your attention. Your partner is an important part of your life, too. Give them quality time, care, and affection while maintaining your own identity.

The goal is not to become unavailable or play games. It's to build a secure bond without losing yourself.