Idc what he does but telling u about pattern and in future , DZ IF U GUYS HAD CHARACTER ACC OR PRIV. NOT ENGAGE WITH IT ,ITS HUMAN NATURE TO GET ATTACHED. AND It doesn't matter if a guy acts sweet in private. His behavior shows how much he respects and acknowledges you publicly. Because it's not love; it's literally professionalism. What are you going to do with his sweet talk in private if, as a co-actor, he's gaslighting you and making you feel desperate for simply posting professionally, the way any co-actor would? U are literally co actors iske ilawa privately kitna sweet or not ,apko kya lage ,situationship or relation chal raha kya ,even relation men b this is off pattern. But Yes, you crossed a limit khatal ni kia he us besties with some1 liking strange edits .but he always drew biundary usne apne bonds khrab ni krne diye publicly or privately for fleeting emotion .So remember this and always understand that, with partners especially, but also with colleagues and everyone else.

If someone talks sweetly to you in private but doesn't acknowledge you publicly, whether it's a man or a woman, take that as a social sign when reading patterns. You should limit their access to you. Play their game on their terms. Be cordial and meet them nicely, but don't acknowledge them publicly any more than they acknowledge you. Choose your projects, post your solo pictures, and keep your edits non-romantic and non-intimate. You can like edits simply because you appreciate fans making them, without posting them on your story.The fact is, Shahveer Jafri isn't as senior compared to you as Dhanani is, but look at the way he honoured her and said such nice things about her. As a junior, you need to be respectful towards a senior. But Danyal has such a superiority complex. The way he didn't even acknowledge the edits, neither Sarbiya nor on his stories. He was always about Surbhi Khan. Then why did you choose the project? He did the same thing with the photoshoot. Privately acting sweet, but publicly gaslighting you.

First of all, it's not that you guys don't have romantic obsessions and things like that. You're tolerating it. I'll tell you why you're tolerating it. First of all, you have a fickle heart, unclear boundaries and priorities, and low self-worth. You seek pleasure, temporary pleasure, to escape your loneliness and enjoy the attention. And this is cheap attention.

Go have fun, just for the sake of it, time guzarna on set. You can be friends with anyone, but keep it platonic. Don't chup-chupke dekhna. Don't go beyond what's required and become unnecessarily intimate while doing scenes. Don't overdo things beyond what's written in the script. There should be boundaries. And even if intimacy is written into a scene, you need to correct it and perform it more softly. In close-proximity scenes, you should actually be more careful not to look at their lips because it looks very vulgar.

That's why you keep tolerating it. Because otherwise, if you had set boundaries when he was behaving unprofessionally throughout, you wouldn't have posted so many stories about him. You didn't even post your solo edits on your own profile. You were constantly shipping yourself.

Posting something on your story gives it a certain level of importance and honour. Liking an edit is different because you're simply appreciating the fans' creativity. When you like and comment on edits, people who watch them may search for your account and feel more connected to you because they see you interacting with them. But when you post something on your story, you maintain a certain distance from the fans. There are two things to consider: you don't necessarily build a connection with fans by posting every edit, and you also give that particular edit a lot of importance. That kind of special importance should be reserved for your partner, not just anyone.

Are you saying you can give that importance to your job and your boss but not to your husband? That's the distorted idea of independence being sold to us.

So, like the edits, but always check their captions. Also, avoid edits featuring excessive physical proximity or scenes that fans are using to insinuate something more. Be calculative, rational, and objective. Women who embody true femininity are often very rational, strategic, street-smart, and book-smart. They know how to handle people because they socialise a lot.

Do you know what true femininity looks like? It's about building social bonds with your household, khaandan, community, neighbours, and everyone around you. These women know how to respond, make witty remarks, and handle social situations. Feminine women very rational calculative strategic integrity ,knowledge discipline and whats best for your peace , can be very clever, socially aware, cheerful, and outgoing. They're people persons, and that's why they feel comfortable around others.

Modern femininity is often presented in a way that encourages women to become like men. Men, generally speaking, may not socialise as much with their khaandan and neighbourhood as women traditionally do. So, socialise more. It builds your social muscle and makes you more comfortable around people.

When you're socially comfortable, you can come up with witty comebacks faster because social anxiety can make you freeze and put you into a fight-or-flight state. You can't express your charm or show your best qualities as naturally when you're anxious. But when you're socially comfortable, you can express the new charms you've developed because you've built that social muscle.

Look at the way he's speaking. It's also a reflection of his integrity and the fact that he socialises a lot. His parents encouraged him to socialise, and as he grew older, he continued doing it himself. You can see it in his confidence, the way he carries himself, and the conviction with which he speaks.

When you know you're right, that conviction shows. The same applies to your presence, face, charm, and discipline. When you work on yourself, your body begins to feel.And the fact is, patterns never lie. I used to understand that. Daniel was the same with Mawra. He has a superiority complex. He was like, “Main kaam...” because he didn't want to feel like he was not equal to her. I mean, what are you saying, man? She's senior to you. At least respect that. But he didn't want to do that because “main naya naya aaya hoon.” He said he had never watched her work. She remained secure and said, “I don't see who's with me and who's not. I just focus on my work.” In that interview, she put him in his place.

In the Maliha Rehman interview, she was softer, calmer, and more regulated. Not because she was trying to impress him, but because she was feminine and soft in the way she carried herself. So how does that happen? She indirectly put him in his place, just as he indirectly tried to do with her. That's called a battle of wit. But she remained feminine rather than fighting with him like a man, you know?

You need to know when to diffuse a situation and when to engage someone in a battle of wit. That's how a person learns that they cannot mess with you. Chhoti chhoti cheezon se hi aap apni value build karte ho. You learn how to make people feel comfortable through respectful behaviour while also knowing what you should and shouldn't tolerate.

Even when someone jokes with you, you shouldn't respond rudely. Respond with a joke of your own. How do you do that? Agar us waqt aapko jawab dena aaye, toh foran de do, ya doosri ya teesri line mein usko jawab de do. Usko samajh aa jaye ke maine ispe mazaaq kiya, isne bhi mujhpe mazaaq kiya. That's how you do it. And if possible, respond in the same style they used. That's how a person understands, “I cannot mess with her. She also has a strong sense of humour and can give equally witty comebacks.”

That's how you train people not to disrespect you. Is tarah cheezen balanced aur respectful rehti hain aur kabhi escalate nahi kartin. Because when you keep tolerating someone's little acts of disrespect, they get used to disrespecting you and take it for granted. Then, when you suddenly start speaking up, of course, your emotions come out all at once, and they react with, “How dare she?” They may even start badmouthing you.

And don't overgive. A person should understand that you'll do what you can, while remaining appreciative, supportive, cordial, and khush ikhlaaq. But beyond that, you'll do what's best for you. The other person should understand that.

Of course, in your own relationship, I'm talking about friends and other relationships as well, including your partner. But your partner shouldn't feel that you're selfish.

And repeatedly telling your partner that only your mother can complete you is a very stupid thing to say. Then he'll also start thinking that only his mother can complete him. No one completes you; even your mother cannot complete you. That's a fact.

You use your work as an excuse to escape working on your inner world because you don't want to work on yourself. As a result, you'll keep depending on temporary satisfaction, situationships, and other people for your happiness.

But when you do the inner work, it requires discipline. Self-discipline is self-loyalty. And when you develop that, you begin to feel complete within yourself, detached from unnecessary attachments, and more regulated. Everything starts falling into place, and your life starts making sense.

You need to learn skills and adopt them, just like shopping. Allah Ta'ala has given you the ability to adapt, and how do you do that? By controlling your sensory input. Because aap jo dekhte ho, aap woh bante ho. If you're constantly watching fights, arguments, and negativity, your personality can start reflecting those patterns.

But if you observe things through metacognition and from a third-person perspective, you can update your skills. Observe what someone did, how they handled a situation, and what consequences followed. Learn from those things. Isse yeh sabaq mila ke usne aise kiya toh uska yeh behaviour hua.

And even with siblings, parents, and everyone else, you need to keep some secrets to yourself. Your secrets should remain between you and Allah Ta'ala. When you reveal your secrets, you can become a prisoner to them because people can use your vulnerabilities against you.

Even your mother or parents might use your emotions against you when you've had an argument or disagreement. They might say, “Haan, tum bhi toh us cheez ko sar pe sawaar karke baith jaati ho. Tumhari aadat hai har cheez ko sar pe sawaar karne ki.”

They may use something you've shared with them to make a point about your behaviour. Lekin jab woh aise kahen, toh aap calmly keh sakte ho, “Haan, yeh bhi baat hai. I need to work on that.”

Cheezon ko jab aap calmly accept kar lete ho na, toh saamne wale ko bhi woh cheez aap mein buri nahi lagti. Samjhe? That's the fact you said.In fact, you said that Daniyal's face should have been bigger. And I'll tell you how I understand this. This is called pattern recognition. The way Mawra said, “Maine toh iska kaam nahi dekha tha.” Literally, when he said that about the cake, it's obvious why his face was bigger on it: because “hamare paas itne bade connections nahi hain na.” It tells me everything about his thinking process.

You say things that are normalised for you, and you make jokes about things that are normalised for you. If a man constantly talks about situationships, playboys, and girls, it's normal for men to find women attractive. But if a man keeps repeating these topics, it shows that these ideas and beliefs are deeply ingrained in his mind. So, if he meets someone he finds attractive or develops a connection with someone, he's more likely to cheat. You never know how someone might cheat. Their discipline, emotional regulation, and overall behaviour tell you a lot about their character. Khuda ka khauf, these things matter.

People who say, “Main toh aisa hi hoon,” often have poor emotional control. They may engage in emotional cheating even if they don't cheat physically. And Daniyal is 10 times worse than Aahat. Let that sink in.

So how can you even want to associate with that person? If you're running an Instagram character account with him, please stop. The more you stay connected, the more your connection may develop, and the more you'll think about him. When you interact with someone, you can start recognising their thought patterns and mindset, especially when you become emotionally invested.

I grow so much because I don't like it when I feel a certain way and question myself: “Mujhe aisa feel nahi karna. Kisi bhi related cheez ki wajah se mujhe loneliness feel nahi karni. Mujhe yeh nahi karna.” I always question those feelings and try to understand them.

The second thing I've always done since childhood is ask myself, “Is cheez se mujhe kya sabaq mila?” That makes me wiser. And how? A wise person learns from other people's mistakes. I started learning about patterns, relationships, psychology, and everything related to human behaviour.

So, you said that Daniyal's face should have been bigger. And the fact that he said Daniyal's face should be bigger because, obviously, he has more contacts tells me a lot about his superiority complex and self-obsession.

Understand one thing: never marry or date a man who is self-obsessed, because you'll always end up being his therapist and his mama. He expects you to regulate his emotions for him instead of taking responsibility for himself. Never ever.

And then people say, “Humein toh pata hi nahi chalta.” That's why you need to understand these patterns and recognise how people behave in relationships.

Women should know what a man should be like. How do you do that? Be coy, become a little girl who can't lift something heavy, and use indirect body language. Be joyful, have boundaries, and maintain a soft, feminine exterior. But even if someone treats you nicely, don't become overly attached to them. Think about what's best for you in a rational, calculated way. Meet them cheerfully, let them meet you cheerfully, and then Allah Hafiz. That's enough.

So, what am I saying? I keep deviating from the subject and getting distracted.

You know how I recognise his self-obsession? There are two aspects to it. If he weren't self-obsessed and could put himself in another person's shoes, he would never have said that. Of course, you're 15 years his senior. You don't even have that many scenes together. Respecting your senior by giving her a bigger picture is the bare minimum and the least he could do. Even if it isn't required by the role, that's basic professional courtesy.

He's not just one or two years into the industry, yet he wants to compete with someone who has far more experience. His lack of understanding tells me about his self-obsession, as does the pattern of how he behaved and spoke about Mawra. “Maine toh uska kaam nahi dekha.” How can you not have watched her work? It makes me wonder whether he was insecure because she was such a big star.

And the fact that you said Daniyal's face should have been bigger brings me to another point: he was just lusty about you. I'm not saying there's anything between you two or making assumptions about your relationship. I'm talking about pattern recognition, which I believe I'm very accurate at.

If a man respects a woman and genuinely likes her, he'll want to appreciate her and speak positively about her to his friends, as well as acknowledge her on social media. But if a man keeps his distance from a woman in gatherings while privately talking sweetly to her, that tells you a lot about his behaviour. It's a pattern that can indicate he's treating her as a convenience, an adventure, one of his options, someone he's benching, or simply a source of fun.

It's attention, not intention. When a man is genuinely interested in a woman, he starts including her in his world. But when he treats her as an option, he may not want her around his friends or the other girls he's involved with because he doesn't want them to know about each other. He may gaslight her to maintain that dynamic.

And if a man respects you, he won't be unnecessarily physical or touchy, even in scenes. He'll try to minimise physical contact wherever possible while still doing his job professionally.

Third, if a man genuinely likes a woman, he won't deliberately hurt her or put her in an awkward position.

Now, let's talk about self-accountability. You attract and are valued by others partly through your inner world and inner state. The richer, more disciplined, self-loyal, rational, objective, calm, and regulated you become, and the more you work on healing your father and mother wounds, the better equipped you'll be to recognise and build a healthy relationship.

And like everything else, love has a guidebook too. Just as there are recipe books, there are principles for building healthy love. There needs to be balance. Obsession can destroy relationships.

Music, dramas, and poetry sometimes glorify unhealthy attachment, especially when they romanticise not moving on and desperately making romance the centre of your life. They glamorise unhealthy love and turn it into something desirable. It's cheap dopamine.

But you remain more grounded in life when your priorities are organised properly: Allah first, then your growth, skills, discipline, and emotional regulation, followed by the other parts of your life, where you need to consider everything in a balanced way, including your family and your job.

Toh aap job continue kaise kar sakte ho while maintaining professional boundaries and avoiding unnecessary close-proximity scenes?