Literally, Hamza's pattern. Because his mother wants that. His mother wanted him to do that, so he's always trying to impress her and doing all those things. So now he's attracted to a woman who is like a mama. It's all connected. but they are mama dependant boy. so see if a guy has leadership quality make his own decisins .resposnible. and even then dont become his mama .be a source of peace but let a man be a man. and be a lil girl. provoke his manly instincts. kesy when he does something be apreciative like he is superman and hamdbag carry krna mard ki zimedari hai. and then aprevaite that man are protectors. acha lagy ga apke hoty hue men sary bags pakry hu. like literally ruchika from dimple malhan vlogs said k sary bags men nischay ka pakra deti hu uske samny tu mery hath pair toot jaty hai bachi bn jati koi khayal ni ise kehty hai. smart har koi aurat ese karti hai jo kamoyab hai is sy the more they invest in u .emotionally physically and money the more man attached and man never plays with their investment. and yeh sab soft exterior sy hota hai. soft voice ,cute expressions. i learn alot of expression. balance calm regukated. ervous system jst uplift and grow and skill khud py invest karo cheze lhid ayengi apky inner richer world state k hisab sy when u are sorted ,calm balance .and all those skill or jb ayegi ALLAH DEDEGA SURAH WAQIAH AND DUA KAR K CHOR DO AND ENJOY SINGLE PHASE OF LIFE IWTH DIGNITY SOCIALOZE .EXPLORE NAMAZ HEALING SECRETS ALLAH SY OR HAR HOBBIES K LIYE DIFFERENT GROUP OF FRNDS not talking about it now but when u are in realtionship be soft feminine lil girl that can only happen if u have soft exterior this is feminity. rational calacultaive..rational becoz u know u have to guard apka menopause apki dignity and pregnanacy and life and ghum na khao quran men kitni bar aya hai it takes away women beauty ,and dil is sacred KHUDA BASTA HAI USKO SASTA NA KARO HAR EMOTIONS KI ghulami kat k. emotions are sensor indicators ,faisla or hikmate amli apny rationality logic perception neurocsince. neuropasticity islam discipline strategic calcultive integrity sy karni hy.

We often say, "Oh no, we had a good childhood." But even people who had a good childhood can experience certain things during childhood that affect them later in life. If you study childhood, parenting, and childhood father and mother wounds, you'll understand. I forgot the psychologist or coach who talks about this, but father and mother wounds and attachment styles literally shape the kind of romantic relationships you're attracted to and how you're going to behave in them.

So go and heal those wounds first, because sometimes you may end up trauma-bonding with a person. That's why I always say, keep growing your inner world. Jitna aapka inner world grow aur rich hoga, aur jitni aapki skills develop hongi, utna hi aap apni life mein sorted hoge. Utna hi aapko apni value maintain karni aayegi, aur har area of life mein sukoon hoga.

And that happens when you understand that the control is in your hands. Allah ko apni life ka centre of the universe bana kar aap apne andar detachment develop karte ho. Detachment in a way that you're cordial and supportive towards everyone, but you also maintain boundaries. Aap overgive nahi karte. Agle bande ko pata hota hai ke, of course, you will think about yourself, and you will not tolerate disrespect or mocking.

For a witty and spontaneous comeback, you also have to know how to make the situation light. You need to develop that giggling expression, and that giggling expression only comes when you privately train that muscle of smiling and giggling. So that's another skill you need to develop.

Then there's the second skill: your social muscle. Social muscle tabhi develop hota hai, aur comfortability tabhi aati hai, jab aap logon se interact karte ho aur baatein karte ho. Phir aapke andar spontaneity aati hai, aur aap foran calmly aur achhe tareeqe se topic change kar dete ho. The situation feels natural, and people think, "Oh, she made such a witty remark without making it a big issue or making things awkward."

And learn from Ikra Kanwal from Sisterology.

Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, can also be associated with feelings of safety and connection in healthy relationships with your father and brother. A woman needs to feel safe and secure, and healthy family bonds can help fulfil some of those emotional needs. Toh phir aap male validation desperately seek nahi karoge. Apni single life enjoy karo aur saath saath grow karo. Jab aap grow kar loge aur aapka right partner aayega, toh aapko apni value maintain karni bhi aayegi aur relationship ko handle karna bhi.

And maintain discipline, keep taking care of yourself, and keep becoming the best version of yourself. No one is inherently ugly. Sometimes, you just need more discipline and consistency in taking care of yourself. Health is looks, too.

And your face has such soft, innocent features and beautiful natural features. Lekin logon ke peeche stress lena, music, dramatic situations, overdramatic behaviour, aur an irregular nervous system can affect how you feel and carry yourself. Instead of constantly putting yourself through emotional turmoil, regulate your nervous system and work towards feeling calm and grounded.

Develop detachment, build your network and social circle, and be supportive towards everyone, but never trust anyone blindly, overgive, or tolerate disrespect.

Aur jab aap chhoti chhoti baatein tolerate karte rehte ho, toh agle bande ko badtameezi karne ki aadat par jaati hai. Phir jab ek din aap achanak stand lete ho aur unka munh khulta hi chala jaata hai, toh aap ekdum se cut off kar dete ho, kyunki kahin na kahin aapne unko us behaviour ki aadat daal di hoti hai. Aur phir woh bhi aapko badnaam karne lagte hain.

And the third skill is reading people. Recognise that when someone is jealous of you, you need to maintain distance. Distance ka matlab cut off karna nahi hai. Just remain cordial and courteous, salam-dua tak. They may appreciate and respect you more when you maintain those boundaries.

The more you try to bring them to your side and overgive to them, the more a power dynamic can develop. Isse yeh hota hai ke aap unki validation constantly seek karne lagte ho. They may constantly degrade you through little jokes and casual remarks, making you feel small, and resentment starts building. And they will never respect you that way.

Toh samajhdaar insaan woh hota hai jisko pata hota hai ke jab koi insaan aapse mohabbat nahi karta, aur aapke maamle mein neutral bhi nahi hai, balki aapse insecure hai ya aapke saath competition rakhta hai, toh aap uske liye apni jaan bhi qurbaan kar do, they may never appreciate you that way.

I have a sibling like that as well. Maine apne bachpan ke trauma se yeh seekha, but later in life, jab doosri situations mein mujhe aise log mile, toh mujhe samajh aaya ke bohot se log aise hote hain. Lekin ek situation mein maine detect kar liya ke she is jealous of me.

Human behaviour ko observe karte hue, maine do-teen talks, yaani teen-chaar conversations mein hi andaaza laga liya. That's pattern recognition. Because I now have knowledge, and knowledge is power. Knowledge, neuroplasticity, Islam, and psychology have taught me to recognise patterns.

Toh maine detect kar liya aur socha ke main distance maintain karungi. Uske saath courteous bhi rahenge, respectful bhi, aur bond bhi maintain rahega. Is tarah resentment build nahi hogi.

And the fact is, I could actually see through that person's body language and behaviour that they started to incline towards me in a more neutral and respectful way.

But just because that person started treating me respectfully doesn't mean I would go back to being an overgiver or try to become super friendly with them. No. Main salam-dua, courtesy, idhar-udhar ki baatein, aur small talk tak hi rakhungi.

In the era of information and knowledge, pehle literally diplomas hote thay aur magazines aati thi. If you're not learning and growing today, you're responsible for your own growth.

You attract bigger and better things through your internal strength, discipline, rational and objective thinking, integrity, values, neuroplasticity, and living according to Islamic principles.

Jitna aapka internal standard high hota jaata hai, utna hi aap apni life mein behtar choices karne lagte ho. Aur kabhi kabhi aapko woh cheezein bhi mil jaati hain jo pehle impossible lagti thi. You can literally be treated like a queen.

Jo bare minimum aap maangte ho, woh koi idealistic ya unrealistic demand nahi hoti. Sometimes, you can find a life partner who is even better than the ideal you had imagined for yourself.Understand people skills. Learn how to handle situations and navigate different personalities. And the most important factor is that when someone does something disrespectful to you, you should acknowledge it and respond appropriately. Agar kisi ne aapko disrespect kiya hai, toh usko jawab do. Agar jawab dena nahi aata, toh woh skill develop karo. Just like in Ikra's recent cover vlog, literally.

So what happens? You are soft and appreciative, but agla banda bhi yeh samajhta hai ke usne kis tarah behave karna hai. Zahir hai, main apna faida dekhungi, toh unko bhi aapse extra expectations nahi hongi. Sab rules, regulations, aur balance mein rehta hai. You are a human being, of course you will think about yourself, too.

But not in a loud or confrontational way. Aap apni behaviour aur body language ke through indirectly apni boundaries communicate karte ho. And remember, access is a boundary. Boundaries are not punishment. It's about limiting access to you. Aap apna liya-diya andaaz rakhte ho. After communicating once that you don't like a particular behaviour, don't keep giving it your energy. I'm not saying ke aap sad ho kar baith jao. Apna kaam karo, disciplined raho, and redirect that energy towards yourself. Go to the gym, develop hobbies like pottery, focus on namaz and Quran, and invest in your own growth.

Don't cut people off unnecessarily. Just remain cordial and communicate when necessary. And they will feel that positive energy when you're always joyful around them. Be joyful. Talk with platonic friends, not to make anyone jealous, but because you genuinely enjoy their company. Go out and enjoy your life, but you don't need to do it in front of them to prove anything. It's not about punishing anyone. It's about maintaining your boundaries after you've communicated what you don't like.

And setting boundaries isn't throwing tantrums. It's about addressing behaviour that is morally wrong or affects your respect and maqam in a relationship. Har cheez ko insult nahi lete, but certain things need boundaries.

But when you overgive, tolerate disrespect, or allow people to make mocking jokes about you, you make them used to that behaviour. Phir ek din jab aap bardasht karte karte thak jaate ho aur aapse aur bardasht nahi hota, you cut that person off. Phir woh tamasha karte hain because they cannot tolerate it. Woh aapke reasonable venting aur reasonable anger ko bhi accept nahi karte. They start mistreating you and may even start a smear campaign against you because they cannot handle your reaction.

Why? Because you have already set the expectation that you will tolerate certain behaviours. You have allowed them to become accustomed to crossing your boundaries. So what you need to do is develop the skill of giving a witty comeback and then simply giggling, keeping it light, and moving on.

Even if a situation is light and comfortable, that kind of response comes naturally only when you build your social muscle. You become comfortable controlling your facial expressions, responding confidently, giving a comeback with a joyful expression, and then moving on to the next topic.

And you should train yourself to smile and giggle naturally in such situations. Practise those expressions until they become automatic, so you can respond comfortably and use those skills whenever the situation calls for them.

You can use that smiling-and-giggling skill after making your point, then change the subject. Social comfort and your social muscle develop when you constantly meet people, travel solo, engage in small talk, and even go grocery shopping. Grocery shopping se bhi yeh hota hai ke aapko kaam se kaam rakh kar logon se baat karni aati hai, aur dheere dheere aapki yeh judgement khatam hoti jaati hai ke doosra banda aapke baare mein kya soch raha hoga. Aapko pata hota hai ke apna kaam karna hai, baat karni hai, aur aage barhna hai.

Aise hi aapka social muscle build hota hai. Har din chaar-paanch logon ke saath hang out karo aur unse baat karo. Jaise Anna ne meet-ups ke liye group banaya hua hai aur unke ghar roz log aate-jaate rehte hain. Aise environments mein aap naturally apne expressions ke saath comfortable ho jaate ho aur aapka social muscle bhi build hota hai.

And just then, support and appreciate that person.

Obsession with movies and music, not moving on, and not letting go have been so heavily glamourised that people have started treating them as romantic ideals. It's unhealthy. Romance ko centre of the universe bana diya gaya hai.

The right sequence is Allah first, then your growth, and then learning and adopting all these skills. Everything else becomes a part of life. Phir aap har cheez ke hisaab se faisla karte ho, rationally, objectively, with integrity and values, using neuroscience, pattern recognition, and a strategic and calculative approach, rather than making decisions purely out of emotions.

Watch Saira Yusuf's interview with Sanam Jung. She's so sorted. And the fact that she still looks the same even after almost 20 years shows the level of discipline and self-loyalty she has maintained for herself.

Nothing deserves that much of your emotional energy. Aap kisi cheez ke liye itna gham na khao. Allah ne Quran mein kai martaba farmaya hai ke gham na karo. Excessive stress and grief can affect your appearance and make you look tired and aged.

Jab tak aapko logon ko pehchanna nahi aayega, you will keep repeating the same patterns. You need to develop pattern recognition so you can identify people's behaviour and make better decisions.

Aur jo jealous log hain, aapko pata hai ke jab koi insaan aapse jealous ho raha ho, toh us insaan se distance maintain karna chahiye. Uske saath cordial aur courteous rehna chahiye. Often, maintaining respectful boundaries is better than becoming overly familiar with someone who resents you.

And if you try too hard to be overly friendly and free with them, they may start feeling more powerful in the dynamic and, in a way, patronise you. The relationship can move towards even more resentment and become worse.

Because it becomes a power dynamic in which they feel jealous of you. As a result, they may constantly nitpick and degrade you. Aur aapke bhi emotions hain, aap bhi insaan ho, toh naturally aapka mood aur emotional well-being affect hoga. Isliye apni boundaries maintain karo, cordial raho, aur apna sukoon protect karo.